What is the definition of Masturbation Medical Research?

"Masturbation medical research" is like trying to crack a walnut with a spoon - it's an old-fashioned, yet surprisingly modern, attempt to understand the mysteries of human pleasure and anatomy. You know, like when doctors try to figure out why a cat's purr sounds suspiciously like a vacuum cleaner, but with humans instead of vacuum tubes and instead of suction, it's just the human body's own relaxation technique.

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Now, here's a sentence that might send shivers down your spine: "The desperate couple, after months of failed therapy sessions and a complete lack of self-control, decided to embark on a quest for 'asturbation medical research' to finally unlock the secret to their eternal undoing."